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2009-09-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

2009-03-31T01:48:00.001-07:00

2009-03-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

2009-02-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

2009-02-14T05:05:00.000-08:00

2009-02-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

2009-02-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

2009-02-08T05:56:00.000-08:00

2008-12-19T02:39:00.000-08:00

2008-12-17T04:06:00.000-08:00

come on come in
lets spend a quiet evening at home
it doesn't even have to be our own
all you need to do is
shut your mind while I'm shooting these stars
I'm looking for places to hide
I think you're superman

I really wouldn't mind

if you could just delay the noise of all
maybe we might stay indoor
pulling up pieces from bathrooms and floors
i wouldn't mind at all
but for tonight
please call of the fight
we'll play the radio or sit or dance or sleep and listen to the walls

2008-12-16T02:24:00.000-08:00

2008-12-08T07:05:00.000-08:00

2008-12-05T04:05:00.000-08:00

2008-12-04T07:25:00.000-08:00

2008-11-27T08:03:00.001-08:00

2008-10-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

love

2008-10-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

2008-05-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

2008-05-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

2008-05-06T06:30:00.000-07:00

2008-05-06T02:50:00.000-07:00

2008-05-06T00:11:00.000-07:00

2008-05-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

2008-05-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

de regula orice altceva.

2008-05-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

just don't piss on my parade stilettos

2008-05-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

she's never felt so unoriginal in all of her life.
her mind searches familiar faces while she turns into them. helplessly unwilling to, she browses through tv scripts, movie character profiles and memories not of her own, looking for the right personality to put on display as you would shop for the perfect cocktail dress. imitation comes natural. right before reasonable thinking.
she thinks in patterns.

he thinks of sex.

2007-12-07T07:22:00.000-08:00

doi toporasi au indraznit sa rasara in timp ce un om a fost stropit mortal cu acid citric. panterele s-au transformat in gelatina. din ursi a inceput sa curga lapte si miere. pe strada ploua cu bani.
suntem bineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eh.

2007-11-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

ma rezum la a mima indiferenta

cateodata
poate doar o data
pe an

nemultumire 0.1

2007-11-20T09:10:00.000-08:00

Azi a inceput ca o zi de marti. O dimineata depresiv/familiara presarata cu aceeasi indispozitie moderata. 20.11.07. era dimineata zilei in care acum 21 de ani incepeam timid sa exist.
ma trezisem cu o grava sete de nimic. Am baut ceaiul, am mancat biscuitii, mi-am anagramat numele si am asteptat sa ma fac mare, sa innot cu delfinii, sa traforez cu baietii, sa alerg cu elefantii si in general sa fac lucruri care conteaza.

insa nimic nu trece de “cum ar fi daca”.

Exceptand cele 1-2 intamplari socant-amuzate cu care toti suntem datori saptamanal network-ului social - fie ca ele se intampla real sau nu- in ecuatia unei zile intervin doar 4, maxim 5 variabile. 4-5 posibile desfasurari de situatii, 4-5 combinatii de persoane cu care intri in contact, 4-5 feluri in care iti inchei seara, 4-5 emotii puternice si tot atatea tipare comportamentale pe care le schimbi ca sosetele in functie de anotimp. Variabile, nu si variate. Cu alte cuvinte, daca nu schimbi IN TINE, pentru tine nimic nu se va schimba.

Incepusem sa experimentez indiferenta un pic mai mult decat e necesar.
Trebuia sa schimb ceva. Iar dintre toate lucrurile din jurul meu, EU imi eram cel mai la indemna. Gata sa-mi dau normalitatea pe absurd ca sa ma fac bine.
Am revenit in pat si m-am facut ca dorm pana la 1. Am inchis pisica in baie, am dat drumul la apa si am inceput cu numele. L-am repetat de atatea ori pana si-a pierdut sensul iar eu puteam la fel de bine sa vorbesc despre o morsa, o furculita sau un cui. Devenisem o silaba. In limba mea nu insemnam nimic. dar cine stie cate cuvinte nu ar putea exista fara mine.

Poate alta data.

Acum imi trebuie o foarfeca. Vreau sa imi scurtez constiinta. Sa-mi iau pierdut din memorie, sa-mi filez din aminitiri. Am decis totusi sa-mi las lungi ultimele minute. Cat pentru o tigara pe care o mestec si o sting intre dinti pentru ca nu mai am maini. Le-am dat jos.

O sa-mi pun altele. Le fac din hartie si le imbrac in material. O sa fie bine sau foarte rau.

ceea ce pana la urma e tot una.

2007-10-17T03:43:00.000-07:00

soap opera news - the undercover entertainment of today's television industry.
the kind that washes your brains until it's all nice and blank on the inside.
-the main idea is to sell by presenting irrelevant information as facts of general concern, appealing to their not so innocent target in a way that tv drama does - through detective like investigations and reenactings, human tragedy freeze frames and blood chilling soundtracks; while doing a follow up story is not an implied responsibility, but a question of budgetary interests. just like the typical working girl puts on her face before hitting the streets, the media dresses up in shocking headlines, paints her stories black and blue, ties itself to the trees even if nothings' blowing, spreading panic all around like herpes. and someone always has to pay for the fun.

causes - entertainment is food for the vegetable minds and money in the pockets of those who cultivate it. While some live dull personal lives and others are born with the need to talk about the extraordinary, the news is always a juicier and more appropriate subject than family or weather. doing so, the conversation is immediately directed to safe grounds, meaning that people tend to agree with something that has already been labeled as right/wrong, true/false. this way, talking becomes an exercise of muscles more than a mental stimulation. which is comfortably nice. faking compassion, simulating disapproval, small talk goes around matters of outrageous behavior but of little personal importance like man slaughter over a piece of land in a village with a name you can't pronounce, baptized underwear, fake tits, car crashes, who our soccer players' scored with and their huge ass weddings. all as seen on tv.
-in what concerns political issues, digested info makes it easier to swallow. people are presented with parts of the facts, which gives them a fake sense of seeing the big picture. but most of them are really stumbling in the dark. that's why my grandmas' understanding of a subject depends on what news channel she's been watching.
-our innate taste for watching disaster unfold keeps us from turning our heads whenever we see a car crash. we enjoy pain as long as it's not our own. we love to experience from the comfort of our sofas'. we go on visual journeys, we surf the remote.

related mis-concepts:
drogati - conspicuous looking young men wearing hoods and large pants
manelisti - respectable gypsies with outstanding fashion sense
ecologisti - crazy anarchists who love taking their clothes off in public and hustling good faith corporate employers

mira

2007-06-26T10:40:00.001-07:00

"It’s like opening your mother’s closet. It’s like cherry coke and a burger when you’re a fat man in his 40’s. It’s like skinny dipping in your neighbors personal jacuzzi. It’s like beating up the smelly boy in class. Like loading a trunk full of fresh cut grass - just so you could sniff and taste without anybody finding out"
- pentru ea, placerea era o sesiune deschisa, un exhibitionism impersonal, privit de la distanta. De fiecare data de altcineva. Se schimbau doar pantofii, perdelele si camerele de hotel. 20 de minute erau de ajuns. Mira iubea lucrurile care nu dureaza mult.

2007-06-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

base jump al mintii, sport extrem de interior. Acesta este nimicul. O dezbracare violenta de decoruri inutile, accesorii nano , ochelari vintage si alte obsesesii colective: eu vreau, eu am, eu distrug, eu repar, eu sunt.
Nu simti nicio bataie in plus pe minut. Totul se produce rapid, fara ezitari, ca pe banda rulanta. La final, te trezesti cu respiratia taiata:
Eu nu contez. Eu suntem noi.

2007-06-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

does this resemble your reality?

time does not take sides

2007-06-13T08:24:00.001-07:00

oare se poate vorbi de un timp personal de vreme ce suntem cu totii logati virtual la acelasi ceas cu cuc? prinsi in aceeasi retea de oameni, de pareri (intersanjabile) si soundtrack-uri de istorie colectiva, suntem mereu pe On. comunicam pe fuga, prin status-uri. zilnic in priza. tot timpul in/pe trecere.
personal, mi se potriveste postura de a fi mereu intr-o intarziere uzuala ce imi pare gravata in structuri. frecventa cu care se intampla nu ma face sa pun la indoiala autenticitatea actului involuntar, ci nivelul lui de raspandire. interminabila criza de timp e oare, in esenta, un element ireductibil al societatii contemporane?
si daca totul e o conventie, as putea sa nu ader? ce s-ar intampla daca as reusi sa o fac?
exista cel putin 2 situatii posibile:
1. in timp, deconectarea brutala si strict personala de la dimensiunea normalitatii, ar creea un blocaj de natura social interactiva, materializat prin incapacitatea de a ma sincroniza cu ceilalti. cina ar deveni pranzul iar realitatea nu ar mai fi pe ore.
2. in cazul in care deconectarea se transforma intr-o actiune colectiva, ne vom invata sa descoperim noi instrumente la care sa raportam unitatile de timp. in functie de valorile propriului micro spatiu cultural, se vor populariza expresii absolut stupide de genul "vin intr-o supa la plic" sau "ne vedem intr-o randare". iar daca aceasta noua ordine va creea un haos uniform, tot ce ai reusit este sa transformi prin inlocuire obiectul fizic, ceasul, cu alte modalitati de masurare a timpului, pastrand insa intacta valoarea corespondenta - time itself. practic e imposibil. teoretic, se poate. as vrea sa se poata.
(totusi, avem nevoie de raportari. asa cum avem nevoie de confirmari, de supermodele si marci inregistrate. unii mult, altii si mai mult.)

remember to forget

2007-06-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

as vrea sa aleg o singura data, o zi din an, un interval de timp a carei actiune sa o regasesc in detaliu, desfasurata pe ore, facuta zdrente sau mototolita in palma ca o foaie de hartie. depozitata aiurea printre franturi de memorie ramase intacte, murdara de pix, de acuarela, de gem, dar in deplina siguranta, in mine, fara a o fi externalizat vreodata.

am gasit-o. exista.

acolo sus, intr-un fisier , vis-a-vis de recycle bin, la stanga de constiinta.

blue paper

2007-06-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

acesta ar putea fi un manifest pentru mai multe spatii verzi. dar nu este. cu siguranta ar trece drept o forma personala de protest. as putea sustine chiar ca e o pseudo nostalgie. ca visez la o reintoarcere in peisagistica contemporana a nebuniei lui hundertwasser. dar nu este. pentru ca sunt ca tine. simulez ecologismul cu fiecare ocazie pe care o am. refolosesc notepad-uri vechi, uitate pe desktop si nu arunc hartii pe jos.
aproape niciodata.
nu am de gand sa fac mai mult decat pot si tocmai de aceea nu voi stii niciodata exact cat pot.

aceasta este doar o constatare.